Mediation

In divorce mediation, a separating couple works with a neutral mediator who assists the two parties to arrive at a settlement on every aspect of their divorce. The mediator may or may not be a lawyer, but he/she must be exceptionally experienced in divorce as well as family law. In addition, it is essential for the mediator to be unbiased and not advocate for either party. Each party still need to consult with their own, individual attorneys during the course of the mediation as well as prior to putting their signature to the ultimate divorce settlement agreement.

Here are a couple of advantages and disadvantages to give consideration to prior to choosing if mediation will work for you.

Advantages

• Result in a much healthier long-term relationship with your ex-husband because you will not “fight” in court.
• Be much easier on children because the divorce proceedings may be a lot more calming.
• Expedite an agreement.
• Decrease expenses.
• Assist you stay in control of your divorce simply because you are making the decisions (and the court isn’t).
• Allow for more discretion. Mediation is private.

Disadvantages

• Waste time and money. If negotiations fail, you’ll need to start all over.
• Be incomplete or unduly favorable to one spouse. If the mediator is unskilled or biased towards your spouse, the result could be undesirable for you.
• Result in an unenforceable agreement. A mediation agreement that’s disproportionate or poorly drafted can be challenged.
• Lead to legal problems. Any issue of law will always need to be ruled upon by the court.
• Failure to uncover specific assets. Because all financial information is voluntarily shared and there is no subpoena of records, your spouse might possibly hide assets/income.
• Reinforce bad behavior patterns. If one is controlling and the other is submissive, the final settlement may not be fair.
• Fuel emotions. Mediation might enhance unfavorable behavior of a spouse with a tendency for physical/mental or drugs/alcohol abuse.

Husbands and wives frequently hear about the wonders of mediation and how it is apparently a better, less controversial, less costly and more “dignified” way to get a divorce. Nevertheless, my greatest issue with mediation is that the main role and goal of the mediator is to get the parties to arrive at an agreement.  Always remember, the mediator can not render any advice. All they can do is attempt to get you to consent. Regrettably, not all agreements are great agreements, and in fact, in numerous cases, no agreement is much better than a bad agreement.